Amazing how screwed up a little used checking account can get when you don't reconcile it for 2 years....

Somebody recently introduced Ike to "Slug Bug!"

The girls have a hard time with this. They keep calling out "Slug Bug!" when they see a Prius. (Goodness knows there's enough of them here). With the last Prius mis-call, Ike spoke up saying "I've never called a penis "Slug Bug!""

I laugh. "Its Prius Ike, not Penis!"

Boys!

Yesterday, I went with the Third Grade on a field trip to a teacher's house. Sra. Carmina has a beautiful garden. Ike was sitting in my lap and as I was perusing the garden contents I said

"Hey, Ike. Look! Mastershalums!"
Owner of House hears this and says "They are called Nasturtiums."
I reply with a straight face.
"Not these. They are called Mastershalums. Christopher Robin told me."

I confused the poor man.

Ike and I however started to laugh.

Okay, first up, an opportunity to laugh at him.



Then an opportunity to say "Awwwww"

Yesterday afternoon the ice cream man came by our house. Gray was asleep. I bought him a Spiderman ice cream thinking he'd like it. Well, when I tried to give it to him after dinner, he refused saying he didn't like it. Ike stepped up to the plate, and offered (without any prompting from me!) to trade ice creams with him so that both of them would have ice cream to eat.

Now that's an awesome big brother!

I just got my acceptance letter from Rudolf Steiner College! I'll be off to Fair Oaks for three weeks in July! Woot!!

Now just to figure out how to pay for it....

Hooky:
I should have done homework tonight. I owe my Foundation Studies teacher from RSC a paper comparing and contrasting the cultures of Ancient Persia and Ancient India. As fascinating as I find this subject (and I do, its really cool!) I just couldn't bring myself to do work. I busted my butt last week in order to turn in enough assignments to pass my latest class at UCSC Extension. I got as much in as I could by the Saturday Midnight deadline. And I was satisfied, I knew I passed. I got home from church on Sunday to find an email from the instructor saying she'd give me a chance to fix an assignment I turned in at the beginning of the month. Fair enough. I revised it, and emailed it back in. This move quite probably changed my grade from a C to a B in that class. Yea. I passed. That's all I care about. So after that, I was less than willing to do more work, even if its fun work. So I've been goofing off online, downloading pictures off my camera, and searching for a crochet hat pattern.

Bypassing a FUBAR:
I teach Handwork at the children's school. I'm attempting to teach 3rd grade how to crochet. They got the basics down and we have attempted to start crocheting hats. I am not the greatest at crocheting. I know how, but this is one craft that does not really click for me. I get lost, easily. I am screwing up the pattern I found for the children to work. They are flailing, I am flailing. Time to scrap this project. I think I found a better pattern that's much more simple and less difficult to screw up. I'm going to collect all the children's handwork bags, rip out what they have done (maybe a round in most cases), and we will all start together. I've also put in an email to another parent who is awesome at crochet to see if she can come around and help me. I think I've recognized that I'm over my head early enough in this process that all is not lost.

And the fact that we have 8 days of school left is not lost on me. Ut. Next year should go better. My only defense is that I'm not a trained Handwork Teacher, I'm a mom who is very crafty and is attempting Teacher Training (Grades). That doesn't mean that I know everything I need to know. But at least I realize I'm out of my depth and am asking for help.

Party, our house, next Saturday. Gaming, Food, hot tub. Need I say more? If you can read this, you are invited. Door opens at noon. Need directions? Comment and I'll email the address. Bring something to share, sweeties and extended families welcome. Beware of the yard apes 'cause there will be a lot of them.

Must of eaten too much sugar yesterday. I'm seriously craving it tonight. But I'm going to say no. I want to say yes...'cause I really want that cheesecake in the freezer. But I know if I go down that path, I'll feel like crap....and it will take a week (or more) to snap out of it.</p>

Bleh. Exercising the will. Whee.

I meant to write this last week....I got busy. Sue me. =)

On May 10, 2011 I woke up determined to make a change. There are things I want to do. There are things I want to accomplish. There are places I want to go. I can't do that in this sized body. In one year I lost 35 lbs. Officially kept of over 20 (i.e. never bounced above a 20 lb loss) and on the one year anniversary I was 29 lbs lighter than I had been the year before. As of this morning, its 30 lbs.

Part of me goes "Dammit! Only 30 lbs in a freaking year? Why can't you do better than that you fat slob? Slacker!"
Another part of me goes "Hey. Not bad. Slow and steady wins the race. That's over a 1/2 a lb a week. The weight that comes down slow, stays off. Its working. Just keep at it."

I'm trying to listen to the second part more.

But it's hard. The first part is louder, and really? Its a chorus.

What did I learn in a year?
-I am seriously addicted to sugar. I can tolerate small amounts at a time (a single cookie, a small serving of ice cream, a single truffle) and not trigger the binge cycle. I also need to wait 2-3 days before having another bit or else I trigger the cycle. But overall, sugar makes me feel awful.
-Calorie loading in the morning with a nutrient dense smoothie at Breakfast works awesome.
-A really light dinner makes me feel good too. (Especially if I eat before I feed the children. When I'm fed, I can deal with Dinnertime with them much easier. Makes it a more pleasant experience for everyone.)
-So does not eating after 8PM.
-Movement and strength training, while it sucks while doing them, I like the results.
-Sleep is seriously important. If I'm tired, I crave comfort food.
-a liter of water in the morning is difficult to drink...but creates a great foundation for the day.
-Going Grain free is a serious pain in the ass! I thought Gluten Free was bad. Sheesh! But....I do feel better when I avoid them...all of them. Grains are a treat now. Oh...and I can no longer tolerate whole grain rice...its what sent me to the ER back in December. (Subsequent exposure has confirmed this) Rice turned into flour? No problem!
-Potato free is beyond insane. And I don't feel any different when I avoid them.
-I can choose to say no thanks. (this one is huge)

So, my goal from May 10, 2012 to May 10, 2013 is to repeat the exercise. I'll take another 30 lb drop. It gets me closer to where I want to be.

One of the kindergarteners has the Chicken Pox! And its one of Elli and Gwen's best friends! And its a little brother to one of Ike's classmates! Yea! Now maybe these kids will catch it! (this is only the third exposure...)

I'm so weird, I want my kids to get sick. =)

Gray just slept all night in his own bed! Charlie the dog took his place in my bed.

Last week I found a Nook Simple Touch on sale at Target for $79.99. I've been wanting an e-reader for awhile, and I chose a Nook because it uses the standard epub format unlike the propritary Kindle format. So then I could "borrow" books from the library. (they haven't quite gotten there yet with Kindle.)

I got it home. It couldn't find the wi-fi connection in the house. Or rather it couldn't use it. So I couldn't even register the damn thing so I could update the software so it could use the house wi-fi. I took it to school with me on Thursday, was able to access their wi-fi, and register the brick. Brought it home, updated the software. Brick still can't use the house wi-fi.

So. Is it worth it for me to keep it?? I also uploaded several of the .pdf's I wanted handy (which is really why I wanted the Brick.). And they are unreadable (old scanned books, rather than computer generated documents turned into .pdf.)

I have a Brick. It can't use the house wi-fi. And I can't read the documents I want to read on it.

I think I want my $80.00 back.

-Allergies suck.
-Peanut has fleas. And he keeps crapping on the floor at night. I crated him last night and got a bad night sleep due to the crying from the crate.
-I've been up late every night this week despite efforts to go to bed early.
-Ike is not sleeping due to allergy attack and is cranky as hell. Gray keeps taking naps late in the afternoon and is up all night (which is why I'm up late.)
-One class done as of last night (Final grade of B. I just don't give a damn about this program anymore. I just want my units. As long as I pass, I'm happy).
-One class yet to go, but I only have 2 projects due for it left. (I figured I could still get a B in the class without reading the textbook. Awesome. I'll have to skim it for content to write the final reflection paper.)
-One more weekend of Foundation Studies.
-Four weeks left of school and I still have to teach 3rd grade how to crochet.
-I've had a RSI flare for the last 2 weeks. OW.
-I need to figure out how to pay for Teacher Training.

Other than that...all is pretty good.

Which is where Kaiser sends you when you need to be seen, but you don't need the ER.

I'm inside the house getting ready to go to the gym. Gwen comes in screaming (and man, oh man, is she screaming a LOT lately)
"Gray fell down!!!!!"

I shrug...he falls a lot and generally gets right up. I start to get up and I hear him come inside crying. I pick him up and give him love. He tells me "I hurt my head!" I give love and cuddles and feel his head gently. And find a nice sized goose egg on the back of his head. Ouch! I get an ice bag, put ice and water in it, put it on the back of his head and take him to the chair to nurse. Eventually figure out he was attempting to climb a tree in the backyard ("'cause its there!") and fell down and hit that little lip at the bottom of the fence.

He falls asleep. Normally, after falling this would have bothered me. But! 1. It was nap time and 2. he roused easily. Especially when I tried to put him down before he was done nursing! Not a happy camper, let me tell you!

After he passes out I grab the phone and call Kaiser's Advice nurse. Goodness knows, I've been through the wake 'em up every 2 hours routine enough, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything. Get the nurse on the phone and she has me wake him up. It takes a bit, 'cause he's a heavy sleeper and didn't take any more time than normal. Blah, blah, blah...vomiting=bad, call if we need help, keep close eye on him for 48 hours...fine. No biggie. Got it. And I hang up.

Gray is awake, but wants more comfort. So I nurse him some more. 20 minutes later he comes up for air. There's blood on my arm. uh-oh. I check the back of his head...ewww...big oozing cut on the lump. The ice bag must of kept it from bleeding before. Call the nurse back...cut seems big enough to be looked at and an appointment is made at the MIC. Let the kids watch a movie as I change (don't want to go to Kaiser in my gym clothes.) pile all four kids into the car and head out.

Doctor cleans cut, determines that sutures are needed. Applies a topical anesthetic to the cut (has me hold it to the cut with a glove on my hand...'cause its powerful enough to cause me to lose feeling in my fingers...where the hell was this stuff when I was a kid????!!!) Wait 15-20 minutes with a squirming Gray on my lap, trying to keep all 4 of them entertained. Doctor comes back in, staple gun in hand. Staple gun? Cool! Elli and Gwen flee in terror. Ike stays to watch. I hold Gray on my lap, face planted between my boobs, nurse holds his head still, I hold his hands still. He fusses with the Betadine. The Doctor takes up the gun and...Click, Click..........click. Done. No tears, no flinching. Fastest sutures I've ever seen...even faster than the liquid ones.

We go home. Gray's head is tender, but bouncy for the rest of the evening. He complains of a headache and Joe brings kids tylenol home. (I don't have any in the house...I hate that toxic shit. But I can't give him Ibuprofen...its an NSAID like asprin...it thins the blood and prevents clotting. Which is why you can't take it before surgery. Never knew that. New tidbit of info to file away.)

Could of been a lot worse! But thankful it wasn't.

Originally posted by labelleizzy at Stop the Arizona birth control bill (Commentary is <lj user=mama_hogswatch>'s, I agree 100%)>

I have this wall in my entryway. When we moved in I attempted to create a wall of initialed hooks. Cool idea. The hooks were too wimpy for the job and fell out one by one over the last few years, and in addition I had left several test holes in the wall when I installed them. The plaster was even falling off in some places. It looked awful.

Joe's parents were here for a week over Easter. Before they came out I told Ike that he had a job. He was supposed to ask Grandpa to show him how to fill holes in walls. Specifically the holes in that wall in the entryway. I also told him that if he filled in the holes, painted the wall, and installed the new hook rack I purchased, I'd call it even from when he broke my windshield last year. He took me up on it.

So while Dad was here he showed Ike how to fill in holes...in every room of the house! All the holes they could find are patched up. Ike and I cleaned the wall in question, removed the electrical plate, removed the light fixture, taped appropriate things off, painted it (he's short and I wanted to do the cutting in) (OMG Its so annoying to paint with just a 3 in brush...I couldn't find a roll for the roller or a bigger brush...took forever.), restored everything we removed and finally installed the new hook bar.

And it looks pretty damn good if I do say so myself. No more holes, no more children's artwork. Just plain, blank, clean wall.

My goal is to paint the house over the summer...one room, one wall at a time. Ike will help. I may even pay him.

Here's the finished wall:

Ever hear Jeff Foxworthy's bit about the Courtesy Sniff? Basic concept: guy finds something smelly, gags on it, and invites friend to smell it too. That was a courtesy sniff. The part of the bit that is important to this post is this:

"You ever seen a car sitting at a red light, and there's like, five guys in it? And all of a sudden all four windows go down and there's four guys hangin' out the car just cussing like crazy? And there's one guy sitting in the middle in the back just laughing. You know why he's laughing, he's cashed in his courtesy sniff! And the only thing that could make him happier was had he been driving and in control of the window lock."*

Friday Joe goes out to lunch with his work group. They went to a South Indian Restaurant. Hot and spicy food with lots of dal. Saturday he starts leaving air biscuits everywhere and its awful. Almost Carlinesque. ("A fart that could end a marriage!") In the late afternoon, we take the kids to the park and on the way back home he lets one fly. He mumbles "excuse me" and then makes the mistake of inhaling and gags.  Then it wafts over to me sitting shotgun.  My eyes water and I'm desperate to unroll the window...but it won't go down! The windows are locked shut. I try to get out a "Unlock the windows!" but I'm laughing too hard to get it out. Finally I gasp it out and Joe goes "Oh! They are locked. Let me fix that." The windows open and the air is breathable again.

Except I still can't breathe 'cause I'm laughing so hard. We laugh and laugh, tears rolling down our faces and the kids (lucky them!!!) have no idea why we are laughing so hard.

I have absolutely, no idea why Ike finds bodily functions the height of comedy at the moment...I truly don't. =)

*find this quote at at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0423871/quotes

"Gray, why is your penis blue?"
(Crayola markers strike again!)

and the one just uttered

"Ike just farted in my general direction"

(Ike had climbed to the top of the couch, pointed his behind in my direction and let one fly as I was sitting in Joe's chair knitting)

A couple off weeks ago I found a sweatshirt grey, 100% cotton sweater in the clearance rack at Target for $6.00



I liked the shape, I liked the fit, I loved the price. Hated the color. I almost didn't buy it...but then I remembered that I had a dye pot and dyes and I know how to use them! I thought about it for awhile and decided on a teal blue. Something bright and dark enough to dye over the light grey. I ordered the dyes and waited. They came in last week and this afternoon while Gray was napping I decided. to dye! I mixed it all up and my sweater came out this color.



Not quite what I was looking for...but not bad! I like it! (Its a pretty light blue with green undertones)

But the dye in the pot was not exhausted. So I pulled out some worsted weight, superwash yarn blanks and tossed them in. I didn't want it as dark as the sweater came out of the pot (when it originally came out of the pot it was a very nice deep, intense teal...rinsing removed a LOT of color) so I tossed in a couple of teaspoons of baking soda to take some of the acid out of the dye bath.

And got this.



A really pretty emerald green.

And I was confused...what did I do wrong? It shouldn't of come out like that. But, I just realized that the dye I used is just for protein fibers! Which is why the cotton didn't hold it and why the wool hung onto it. Oh well! Live and learn...I'm still happy with what I got. Better luck next time.

One of the things I miss most about LifeWays is spending an entire day focusing on an art/craft project. Today, with Joe's blessing, I treated myself to a class on creating Needle Felted Tapestries. (Needle Felting is taking colored wool bits and a barbed needle and stabbing the wool over and over with said needle. The wool felts and you can create lots of stuff with it. Very therapeutic.)The class was taught by one of my LifeWays teachers and hosted by one of my fellow classmates (and one of my favorite people ever). After about four hours of work, this is what I ended up with.



Its about 9X12 and I estimate that I've got about another 4 hours of work on it. I have to finish the butterfly, add bluebells, and a couple of good sized daffodils. And more background color...I'm noticing with the picture that the yellow on top is looking pretty thin. What's really cool is that we felted it onto half inch industrial felt! Took some of the work right out! Perfect for just hanging on the wall when done!.

The great thing that I got out of this class is how to fix Ike's crown. I'm not happy with the wings and I wasn't sure how to fix it. After today, I think I've got a pretty good idea.

It was a good class, and I missed my LifeWays classmates very much. I wish more of them had shown up. But I did get a good visit with the hostess, especially when I drove her to the airport.