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Today is day 4 of Ski Week. Ike's had this whole week off...so I've had to entertain my kids, all day, for the last few days, all by myself. Joe had the three day weekend, but the kids were sick, so we couldn't do anything fun, and it was raining, which didn't make it any easier. We stayed home and vegged...they were happy to do so.

Tuesday afternoon I took them to Bounce-a-Rama...that was a big success. I spent most of the afternoon sitting down on a bench reading a book. The only downside is that I spent a good chunk of the afternoon insisting that we were not playing video games, so go play.

Yesterday, Gwen had school. The day went. Get up. Take Gwen to school. Take Elli and Ike to Gym. Go home. Fix Ike and Elli a quick lunch of Mac and Cheese. Go get Gwen. Go back home and put Elli to bed since she fell asleep. Re-load kids back into van, wake up Elli and take the girls to Kidspark an hour after I had planned to. Take Ike to Kaiser. Spend two hours at Kaiser dealing with the Pediatrician (who, BTW freakin' rocks), injection clinic for a Hep A shot for Ike (he's finally caught up with his Vax's! Except for Chicken Pox. I'm still hoping he'll get that one.) Stop at pharmacy to pick up Big Kid strength Motrin. Take Ike for an Ice Cream Treat since he was a good sport the entire time at Kaiser. Take Ike to Kidspark. Go home. Sit for an hour. Decide I'm too tired to cook. Get back into van, run to Burrito Factory. Place order. Get order. Get back into van go get kids at Kidspark. Go home.  Attempt to parcel out food. Break up fights. Dry tears. Negtioate. Berate child who won't share. Pitch fit. Discover Joe's order is missing. Discover double order of something that only one was ordered. Call restaurant, berate for not completeing order. Arrange for Joe to stop on way home from work and get his food. Cry. Eat cold food. Coax small children to eat, no really that's chicken, it tastes good. Joe gets home and I collapse. "Help" bathe children. Put children to bed. Go to bed late 'cause Elli took a nap and is up seriously late. Wake up at 4am. Move small child back to her bed. Put diaper on wet spot. Put mask back on. Lay down. Am wide awake and spend approx 90 minutes trying to go back to sleep, while formulating plan for today. Get woken up by small child waaaaaay too early so Joe could go to work.

Quick summary for those who skipped the cut. Yesterday was waaaaay too much running around and royally sucked.

So I figured out that I needed to do something with the kids today. Yes its beautiful out (finally) however, everything is still soaked and could use another couple of days to dry out. I called a friend to see if she was available to help me kid chase this afternoon. Decide to go to the gym and stitch, then take the kids to a newish Round Table Pizza with a big indoor playground. And hopefully swing by the Chiropractor to get adjusted.

That was the plan anyway.

But we all know that no plan survives contact with the enemy.

Before we even leave, Ike gets into trouble for taking buckets of water off the lid of the hot tub (which they broke so now it collects an amazing amount of water when it rains) and dumping it into the toy bins outside on the porch. On top of all those lovely expensive electronic and cloth toys in the covered bins to protect them from rain damage. For that he lost 2 days of electronic priviledges.

I finally get them to the gym. Where there's a lovely surprise for me. A NHI massage student giving away free massages! WooT!!! So I got a back massage. So far, that's the only high point of my day. Ike gets kicked out of the gyms daycare after an hour because he won't listen to the adults, won't stop trying to kiss and lick everyone, and is attempting to bite those who try and stop him. (I don't know where this licking thing is coming from. It just started a couple of days ago...its disgusting. I want to superglue his mouth shut.) I load everyone in the van and go home. I tell everyone that because Ike didn't behave, we aren't going to Pizza and Fun. Tears all around the entire way home. I get everyone home, send Ike to his room,  go and lock myself in my room and cry on Joe's shoulder over the phone. We come to the conclusion that doing anything that would get them out of my hair is rewarding Ike for bad behavior. We also agree that beating the crap out of him isn't a good idea either. Eventually, I decide that another round of extensive chores is needed. I dried my tears and fed everyone (including Ike!) some lunch.

I then spent the next three hours making Ike do chores. Which he hates. "Why do I have to do this?" "Because you didn't behave at the gym." That was said a lot during what was going on. So Ike essentially picked up all the floor surfaces in the public parts of the house. Including scraping a dried, squished bar of soap off the bathroom floor, vacuumed, and got his laundry together. I'm exhausted, he's exhausted...I hope these people can stay quiet (and not sleeping like Elli) until later this evening.

I doubt that they can stay out of trouble for very long though...these are my kids...into everything.

I'm somewhat frustrated with myself and my life right now. Essentially for Ike's entire life, I've been sick for one reason or another. I've not been able to be the Mom I want to be. For example, out of the first 12 out the last 18 months I had energy to do fun things with them, but had an injury that prevented me from doing so. For the last 6, the injury cleared up, but my energy just went out the door. I'm tired of feeling like they are getting the short end of the stick from me. I didn't want to be a mom who looks for every opportunity to get rid of her kids and avoid spending time with them. I love them to death and wished I enjoyed being around them more than I do. I do recognize that there's been extenuating circumstances that prevents me from being how I wish I were...but its starting to feel more and more like an excuse...I'm tired of saying no Mama can't. I know it will fix itself...but I can't help but wonder if its too late for Ike.


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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
mollygm
Mar. 21st, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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