I'm disappointed and annoyed...and just not sure I want to try again. Part of me wants another baby bad. The other part of me is going
"The twins are almost 2 and a half. Next fall they start preschool. You could get a change to...ya know...relax. And don't forget how much PPD sucked last time. Remember the contemplating suicide? Do you really want to do that? Again?"
And the want a baby part is going "Remember how cute they are? And remember just how cool it is watching them grow? And how wonderful breastfeeding is?"
"Yea and the 8 feedings a night. And the exploding diapers. And hauling all that baby stuff all over the place. You're not sleeping much now, what you think its going to get better?"
"But its so cool to poke my stomach and have someone poke back. Do you want to never feel that again?"
"Okay, you've got a point there. That's pretty cool. The last labor was cool too."
"Yeah. But that not sleeping part...the next one could be like Ike...or worse..."
"I'm not sure I'm convinced yet"
So I don't know what I'm going to do. There's one more (new) pill to try. I'm pretty sure I don't want to do shots again. I DO NOT want twins again. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls...but that was just too hard.