April 12th, 2005

Frozen Nips

Okay, so last night we took Ike outside right before the sun went down. I went out without a jacket, I didn't think it was that cold.

WRONG!!!!

It was so bloody cold that my nipples screwed up so tight I was in serious pain.

And not the good kind of pain either.

Next time I'm takin' a jacket! Brrr!

Sometimes it pays to be honest...

So I'm driving home from playgroup today, minding my own business, when I notice something strange. The next light doesn't seem to be red, yellow, or even green, its not working. This confuses me. I see the P.G.&E. truck parked at the corner. I think to myself. "Hrm strange, they must be working on it." Then I think "Oh shit! I'm going to fast to stop, well I slow down as much as possible and glide through the intersection." And I do so, right in front of the SJPD Bubble Gum Machine (motorcycle). Again I think "OH shit! I'm going to get pulled over!" But he then goes around me "Clean living has its benefits!" He shoots ahead of the two cars in front of me who blasted through the intersection as well turns on the lights and motions for everyone to start pulling over.

Caught. Damn. Well. Not too bad, first time I've ever been pulled over. So I get out my license and insurance (no registration on the van yet) and wait, patiently. He comes up and asks the proverbial "Do you know why I pulled you over?" (I didn't think they really asked that stupid question) And I said "Yes, 'cause I blew through that intersection back there before I realized that the power was out." He berated me for not paying attention and told me to wait 'cause he was going to write the other two guys in front of me tickets first.

So I kill the engine, restart the Pooh Bear movie Ike was watching, and turn on the hazards. I wait. Ike falls asleep. First car gets ticket and drives off. I rock out to tunes on the radio. Ike starts to snore. Second car gets ticket and drives off. The Copcake (and yes he was pretty snarky looking) comes over to the window and says that because I was honest and was patient while he wrote out the other tickets he was willing to write me up for something other than the $385.00 and 2 point ticket for blowing through a non-operational light. I think "Oh fuck. 2 points? Crap! Driving school! Oh wait did he say something else?" "okay, how about I write you up a $86.00 ticket for not wearing your seatbelt instead?" (please note my seatbelt was on) "Works for me! Thank you for being nice to the pregnant lady officer!"

Some days it just pays to be honest and not attempt an impromtu service invoking the Bullshit Goddess. Not bad!
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