aelfie (aelfie) wrote,

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Ike just breaks my heart sometimes.

So apparently there was an "altercation" at the YMCA after school care this afternoon.

One of his friends broke a (minor) rule, the adults in charge didn't see it, so when he was done going to the bathroom, he came out and scratched his friend in the face and drew blood (I feel a bit responsible for that...I forgot to trim his claws fingernails before sending him to school.)

We've sent him to his room for the evening (he is SERIOUSLY overtired, which hampers his ability to control himself.), and took away his beloved Hot Wheels, and talked to him about making amends to his victim.

This is the part that almost had me in tears.

"I wanna stay home. I don't wanna go to school anymore, everyone calls me a bully. I'm a bad boy and I'm naughty all the time at school. I'm tired of it."

Damn near brought me to tears.

Do all kids struggle this hard at being good/behaving? Ike has internalized the belief that he's a "bad boy". I'm not sure who told him that he's a bad boy...but he definitely believes it.  And he repeats it. Way too often for me to be comfortable. Sometimes I think he uses it as a crutch...but other times...its almost like he realizes something is different. His current teacher summed it up..."He wants to be a friend badly, but can't seem to be able to figure out how."

We are in the process of having him screened by Kaiser for Aspergers...some of it fits. The aggression, the sleep problems, the self care problems, the social awkwardness. He doesn't have the advanced verbal skills of those "Little Professors"  nor is he physically clumsy...he has great gross motor skills, but sometimes he doesn't seem to realize what he's doing with his body...and he has very little concept of personal space. I don't know....I was recently reading one account of life with an Aspie kid in school described Ike to a T. The concept of that they are trying so hard to hold it together at school (i.e. its too loud, too busy, too many distractions, etc etc)...that not only do they have a hard time learning, but once they get home (where its safe), they explode. And he does. Especially on a YMCA day...he is such a bear on those days.  Today was the first incident at the Y...and I'm glad its temporary.

And I know he hasn't been getting enough can just tell he's tired, and that he's having a hard time coping with life in general because of it. The good thing about grounding him to his room this evening is that I got him to pass out a good hour earlier than usual. I'm hoping that will improve his demeanor. We need to make a more concentrated effort to get him to bed earlier...we should probably start at 7:30 instead of 8.

He seems to struggle so much...and it hurts to watch.

Tags: ike

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