aelfie (aelfie) wrote,
aelfie
aelfie

  • Mood:

I hate being sick

It makes me maudlin, and cranky, and depressed.

I swear head colds are the worst. Sinus pain, runny nose, sore throat. Bleh.

Lately I've been feeling less than successful at parenting. Too much yelling and screaming going on. The last couple of days I've been fighting the "I'm a horrible mother, I shouldn't be responsible for these people 'cause I'll just fuck them up, et cetera, et cetera". In other words, I've been really down on myself the last few days (being sick has absolutely nothing, whatsoever to do with this.) (Riiiiiight.)

Anyway. I was meditating last night while nursing Gray, and I heard the still, quiet voice. "You are worthy." Its been resonating and reverbrating in my brain all day. And it really has helped put me at ease. I'm not a bad mother. I still hear my Step-mother's voice every once in awhile, and I hear it loudest at times like these when I'm down on myself, what I heard last night, has helped greatly to shut her up.

Its nice that the Universe hasn't had to continue to smack me upside the head to get its message to me. I guess I'm finally learning to listen.
Tags: musings, self, whining
Subscribe

  • Home Alone.

    I just waved the family off to a day in the snow. (recently discovered it's about an hour away to tubing) I'm staying at home. Why? Two…

  • We have a goal

    I had an idea. We now live in a town we know nothing about. We need to explore while dragging four kids with us, and we need a way to keep them…

  • The trip thus far

    I left home last Sunday with a fully packed van and four kids. And a dog. The dog got left with mom. The ride to Reno was uneventful. We checked…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

  • 11 comments

  • Home Alone.

    I just waved the family off to a day in the snow. (recently discovered it's about an hour away to tubing) I'm staying at home. Why? Two…

  • We have a goal

    I had an idea. We now live in a town we know nothing about. We need to explore while dragging four kids with us, and we need a way to keep them…

  • The trip thus far

    I left home last Sunday with a fully packed van and four kids. And a dog. The dog got left with mom. The ride to Reno was uneventful. We checked…